I’m certainly glad God tore up mine long ago.ĭavid wrote, “If you, O LORD, kept a record of sin, O Lord, who could stand?” (Psalm 130:3 NIV). With genuine love, there are no scorecards. He or she might not be able to verbalize the difference or even recognize it, but they certainly feel the difference in the pit of their stomachs and in the tenderness of their hearts. Self-centeredness says, “Come here and give me a hug.” Love says, “Come here and let me hug you.” Can you tell the difference? A ten-year-old child certainly can. Love gives affection unconditionally because none of us do deserve it. Self-centeredness withholds affection and approval from those who don’t deserve it. Love makes mental lists of ways they can bless others. Self-centeredness makes mental lists of how others have disappointed them. Self-centeredness says, “What has that person done for me lately?” Love says, “What can I do for that person today?” Love doesn’t keep a tally sheet of debits and credits or scorecards of plusses and minuses. Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians says, “Love is patient, love is kind…it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs,”(1 Corinthians 13:4-5). And if you or I keep scorecards for the people in our lives, we will be miserable as well. As long as this woman keeps mental scorecards on the people in her life, she is going to be miserable. After all, I didn’t want to get a bad mark on my scorecard that day.įriend, let me tell you a great life lesson. I shook my head to clear away the movie being played in my mind and tried to pay attention to our conversation. She was very busy keeping track of all the plusses and minuses for each person. Birthday cards, Christmas gifts, phone calls, visits, etc, were all tallied on mental scorecards for later retrieval. If they did not send her a card on the appropriate days, they lost five points. If they did not come by for a visit within the expected amount of time, they lost five points. However, if they did not show the proper display of affection, they lost five points. If they told her she looked pretty, they got two points. If they gave her a hug without being asked, they got one point. If they stopped by for a visit, they got one point. If someone telephoned her, they got one point. At the top of each card was a name: a grandchild, a child, a friend, a pastor, and yes, even one with my name printed across the top. Barnett mentioned several family members and friends who had disappointed her, who had not lived up to her expectations, and who had not given her the love she “deserved.” The more I listened the clearer a picture began to take shape in my mind. “He never comes by unless he wants something.” “Benjamin is just as bad,” she continued, talking about her grandson. I saw her sitting on the other side of the church last week and she didn’t even come over and give me a hug.” “Callie never comes to see me,” she began to complain about her granddaughter. I sat with an older woman as she began enumerating her family’s shortcomings. Barnett was getting out the scorecards and tallying up the points.
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